Who is Phoenix?
If you met me within the last year, then likely this is how you know me. In which case, you’d be wondering, “Who is Ashley?”
It’s been an interesting year navigating how I identify myself. As someone who lives far out of the box, I still really resonate with names carrying meaning. Anytime I name a retreat, a band, a new project, the name is important to me.
So as I’ve been facing this calling to identify myself differently, it has been a journey full of meaning.
I began going by Phoenix at Burning Man a few years ago (a place where alternate names and chosen identities are surely embraced, the idea of claiming yourself). Right before the burn, in fact the night before, I woke from a dream where I heard and felt that my name should be Phoenix. So I listened. I entered the HeeBeeGeeBee Healers Camp and announced myself as Phoenix for the first time.
After the burn, that name fell away from me for a whole year. But when I went to Ecuador to do my 300 hr YTT in Tantra, Shamanism, and the Arts in January 2025, Phoenix returned to me. Three days into the training, we entered the Temazcal, and during the fire door (when the most intense heat felt present) I received the message so fiercely: “You ARE the PHOENIX.” Instantly I felt tears well up and an imperviousness to the heat. I am a fire bird after all.
That was a turning point. In my training, I decided to listen to the message again and go by Phoenix.
Drawing the Phoenix card after a deeply spiritual San Pedro Ceremony in Ecuador blew my mind.
It has been a dance through this past year. When I left Ecuador and came back to Nicaragua, I became Ashley again. Then I went to Guatemala, where I returned to being Phoenix. In Denver, I’m Ashley; in France, I was Phoenix.
I wanted to write this and communicate it to all those who know me, putting feelings to page so you can see better who I am.
When I meet new people, I am introducing myself as Phoenix. It feels right in this moment of my life. As a nomad, and someone who is ever evolving, I am constantly experiencing rebirth, burning down one existence to be reborn in another, a constant state of fluctuation and change. Something I see and feel wisdom in.
There’s something powerful about the fire bird whose tears have healing properties. I really believe in and practice being in touch with my emotions, wearing my heart on my sleeve, and letting the tears flow as often as they need to so I can experience deep presence and healing. It’s one of the grounding principles that I coach people on.
Phoenix feels empowering, like I’m stepping into and claiming my connection to spirit, Earth, and divine energy.
And as the phoenix rises from the “ash”es, it still feels very connected to Ashley.
I am and I always will be Ashley. I do not ask friends and family to switch over, because I love where I came from, who I have gotten to be, and that Ashley is forever part of me. But I do think it’s important to know that Phoenix is rising. I respond to both, but more and more I am embracing Phoenix.
I hope you never feel that I am put off or offended by how you address me. I welcome both, but wanted to give you the chance to understand the journey I’ve been on and continue to move through.
There’s a chance that one day a request will arise to make a shift. Until then, use whichever feels most natural to you. But maybe try out Phoenix once or twice. See how it rolls off the tongue.
With all my love,
Phoenix/Ashley
Spreading my wings in Lisbon, Portugal. Sept 2025
